Empathy and Healthy Communication for Healing and Relational Joy

On D-Day, healing feels hopeless for most betrayed partners, but healing your relationship is possible, if both parties will work for it. However, before relational healing can happen, partners need time to grieve, express their anger, do self-care, and learn boundaries. Simultaneously, the betrayer must gain sustained sobriety and foster healthy recovery connections with other men on their sobriety journey. 

But once these are in place, it’s time for relational healing. Relational healing only becomes possible with empathy and healthy communication. Because many did not see these skills modeled in childhood, they must be learned now. Without empathy, healing, and emotional connection remain impossible. While many recovering sex addicts recognize they failed to learn empathy and healthy communication in childhood, some betrayed partners don’t recognize that empathy and healthy communication are two-way streets if they want their marriage to heal. 

And for some, that's a bitter pill to swallow. Empathy enables partners to recognize that in almost every case, sex addiction begins with a childhood trauma in the addict’s life. Or the absence of something every child needs, like hugs, I love you's, a stable home, etc. And in time, that recognition makes forgiveness possible. 

Likewise, empathy enables the recovering addict to recognize the searing trauma his betrayal caused the woman he loves and to help her heal with empathy. Healthy communication enables us to build a bridge between our hearts. It’s important to understand that healing will come sooner if both partners work on empathy and healthy communication together.