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Michael Hoye Jesse Pyles

When Betrayed Men Choose to Stay

A Talk by Jesse Pyles Ph.D. and Michael Hoye ALC, APTT-C

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About this Talk

"When Betrayed Men Choose to Stay" hosted by Scott Peacock with guests Jesse Pyles and Michael Hoye, explores the under-researched topic of men’s experiences with betrayal trauma. Empirical data on betrayed men is scarce, forcing helping professionals to rely heavily on anecdotal reports. 

Cultural biases often blame men for their partner’s infidelity, rooted in an untested “deficit model” suggesting relationship shortcomings provoke betrayal—a notion empirical science refutes. Men face unique challenges due to sexual psychology differences, with vasopressin-driven bonding (unlike women’s oxytocin) fostering slow, protective commitment, especially post-children.

Men who stay express enduring connection and prioritize family, grappling with a permanent loss of “mate value” rather than trust alone. Effective support requires helping professionals to examine their assumptions, study male-specific research (e.g., Pyles’ book Shadow in Fog)

May 17, 2025, 10:00 PM

10:00 PM - 11:00 PM

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About The Speakers

Jesse Pyles

Jesse Pyles Ph.D.

Research for Betrayed Men

An archival researcher with a doctoral degree in humanities. He explores the intersections of human nature, cognitive understanding, and societal norms. Co-founder of www.researchforbetrayedmen.com


Michael Hoye

Michael Hoye ALC, APTT-C

Calvert and Associates

Associate licensed counselor in the state of Alabama. Co-founder of researchforbetrayedmen.com